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An Amusing Travel Story about Why Sticking to a Schedule Matters

The ride back from the station (and many future rides) was completely different from my first, smooth yin ride, where traffic jams made slow travel the only option.

The true experience of Sri Lankan bus driving was about to begin, and I would unknowingly experience it from the first row. Feel free to make yourself a popcorn, and experience this entertaining travel adventure with me.

After successfully collecting my reserved tickets to Anuradhapura, which I reserved a few days prior, and walking to the station, I boarded the bus nr. 138 which was already waiting. Since the first row of seats was empty, I gladly took a spot there. It is actually my preferred seat as my stomach is not as adventurous as I am! If you know, you know!

As soon as my behind touched a bus seat, the kindest conductor approached, aiming to sell me a ticket. He wanted to know the name of my intended exit stop so that he could charge me accordingly. I didn’t have the slightest idea, to say the least. All I could offer were the mental visuals of how the exit area would look.

My master plan was to meticulously follow the bus journey and prepare to exit as soon as I recognized the surroundings.

However, we struggled to communicate since the conductor didn’t speak much English and I didn’t understand Sinhalese. The bus was almost empty, so there was no one to help with the translation.

Why didn’t you just use the google translate? – you might reasonably ask, dear reader, if your shoulder rubbed mine at this very moment. To be honest, as I write this, the same question crosses my mind. And I don’t have a satisfying answer. Perhaps because writing or reading while riding the bus isn’t a favorite activity for my stomach? That’s the most rational explanation I can offer at the moment. All other reasons are irrational.

Empty Bus

Full Bus

However, I had my Google Maps open with the hotel location open, so I tried to show him the destination a few times, but he was not interested at all.

Ultimately, he gave up and walked away without charging me for a ticket.

A few stations later, a kind man who spoke English sat in the empty seat next to me and helped with the translation. Finally, buying a ticket became successfully completed mission.

I also learned the name of the station where I was to be dropped off. The name itself made me happy.

It was a Lumbini station.

For those of you unfamiliar with the name, Lumbini is the birthplace of Lord Buddha. Today it’s located in Nepal, but back then it was part of India. It’s a wonderful place—if you have the time, you should definitely visit it!

Now, with my inner peace restored since I had paid for my ride, I could “enjoy” the journey. LOL. Enjoy in the parallel Universe where I am an adrenaline junkie, but in reality… not so much!

After I paid for the ticket, I resumed paying attention to what was happening around me and on the road.

And girl, let me tell you – it was like being in the cockpit of a Formula 1 Grand Prix Race.

The numerous sights vanished quickly through the window, my body leaned with each turn, the loud roar of the old engine filled the air, and the smell of brake fluid was overwhelming. I haven’t sat in a Formula 1 car, and after this experience, I don’t think I ever want to!)

Every time there was even a hint of an open road ahead, the driver would accelerate to what felt like maximum speed. Just before we were about to collide with an obstacle, he would either abruptly stop or swerve to overtake it. These “obstacles” in his eyes included cars, trucks, tuk-tuks, bicycles, and even pedestrians crossing at zebra crossings. To warn them of our approach, the driver would enthusiastically (or hysterically?) honk, urging them to move aside so he, The King of The Road, could pass.

The driver slowed down only for sharp turns, but he seemed determined not to be bothered by them. He stepped on the brake only when absolutely necessary. If he could, he probably would have switched on turbo engines, pressed the “wings-out” button, and flown straight from the busy streets of Colombo to heaven, taking us with him.

This wild ride, with the front and back doors open, continued between city stations. Passengers who were about to exit gathered near the open front door, girding up their loins for the exit. They stood up if they were seated, firmly holding onto the nearest seat back with one or both arms. Those seated tried to stay put as long as they could.

Once, a standing passenger fell due to a sudden, crazy maneuver by the driver but managed to get up without injuries.

The driver made an unexpected sharp left turn, causing most standing passengers to lose their balance. Even those of us sitting ended up leaning precariously. The driver seemed to enjoy our struggles, as I noticed a smirk on his face. It was as if he was playing a simulation race game.

After this episode, I closed my eyes and thought, “If I’m meant to die here and now, let it happen quickly. I forgive everyone who hurt me, and I ask for forgiveness from anyone I might have hurt.” I was preparing myself for the worst. But, obviously, my time hadn’t come yet. I was meant to endure this crazy ride a bit longer. You might think I’m exaggerating, but I assure you, I’m not.

My mom, who later visited me in Sri Lanka, and had the “luck” to experience similar kind of the ride (though not the one in a video below), commented that she feels like being on a roller-coaster in an amusement park. Fortunately for her, she likes roller coasters – unlike me!

Anyway, this “amusing” travel story does not end here.

So people were lining up inside the bus just before it arrived at the next stop.

The first ones in the line started to jump out of the bus while it was still moving, albeit slowly.

Yes, you read that completely correctly! The first passengers were jumping out of the bus. Those in the middle were lucky enough to exit while the bus was stationary, but the last ones, or those getting on the bus, weren’t as fortunate. The bus driver took off again, and they had to quickly jump in or out while it began to move onwards slowly.

I was in full admiration of the passengers—they all knew the procedure for entering and exiting the bus as quickly as possible. They didn’t complain, and it seemed completely natural to them. Business as usual, nothing special.

Soon, my time to exit came. Even though I felt a bit anxious as the conductor gestured for me to prepare, I knew for sure that I wouldn’t stand on this bus while it was moving, and I definitely wouldn’t jump out when my station came next.

The conductor wasn’t pleased with my determination. He kept saying, “Ma’am, ma’am,” and gesturing for me to get up and approach the door.

I knew, and Google Maps confirmed, that the next station was Lumbini. I nodded, acknowledging him, but my intention was to wait until we arrived. It seemed like I was the only one about to exit, which might have been why the conductor was so energetic, trying to motivate me to stand up, approach the door, and jump out while the bus was still moving. But that was the exact opposite of my intention. I took my time. I was not ready to use my travel insurance. Not now, when I almost made it!

Only after we arrived and stopped did I stand up and slowly walk down the stairs to freedom. I survived.

Before I realized it, the bus was gone.

The Bus and The City. But not this Crazy Ride. I was too busy holding balance. LOL

That was the craziest bus ride I’ve ever experienced. There were other rides, but none as wild as this one. Or maybe I just got used to it. Who knows?

Later, I learned why bus drivers in Sri Lanka drive so fast. They have a strict schedule to follow and are paid according to their punctuality. If they don’t arrive on time, they get paid less.

With this information, everything made sense. If I were a driver, I’d probably have the same attitude. Step on the gas and never look back—minus the smirking while passengers fall like dominoes.

With the crazy love 🫶

T.

What was the craziest ride of your life? Do you still remember? Was it a rollercoaster? LOL. Or maybe there is a particular amusing travel story or misadventure you would want to share with me? Or is there a short horror turned into a funny travel story? Feel free to share…